horror movie opening scene

  • white girl:

    i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.

  • white boy:

    come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.

  • white girl:

    you're just trying to scare me.

  • white boy:

    lmao

  • they continue walking for a few seconds

  • *white couple hears noise*

  • white girl:

    babe what that??

  • white boy:

    i'll go investigate

  • *leaves her alone*

  • *choking noises*

  • white girl:

    zack!!!

  • white boy:

    ha ha just kidding!

  • white girl:

    asshole!

  • white boy:

    im just playin babe

  • white girl:

    that wasnt funny but ur still cute

  • *playful kiss*

  • *things turn sexy*

  • *hear noise*

  • white boy:

    i'll go investigate

  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*

  • *maybe a thud*

  • white girl:

    zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!

  • *she walks and he dead*

  • white girl:

    ahhh!!

  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*

  • white girl:

    ahhh!!!

  • *white girl runs*

  • *dead end*

  • *hides*

  • *thinks she free n safe*

  • *guy catches her*

  • *cuts her*

  • *she dead*

  • opening title slashes across screen:

    BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

  • DC:

    Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

  • Marvel:

    YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

  • DC:

    We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

  • Marvel:

    HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

  • DC:

    The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

  • Marvel:

    DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

  • DC:

    After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

  • Marvel:

    PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

  • DC:

    We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

  • Marvel:

    NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

  • DC:

    We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

  • Marvel:

    NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

  • DC:

    We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

  • Marvel:

    FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

  • DC:

    Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

  • Marvel:

    NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

  • DC:

    Wait-

  • Marvel:

    NEW FEMALE THOR

  • DC:

    I didn't-

  • Marvel:

    NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

  • Marvel:

    TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

  • Marvel:

    PEACE

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